Every year after my mom’s death I make a pilgrimage near home. This year I walked from my home in West St. Paul to what is now known as George Floyd Square. I walked through countless Twin Cities neighborhoods, all of which had been deeply impacted just a few months prior by the killing of George Flyod. Below is part poem, part journal entry of my experience and the healing it brought me. The love in this square is palpable and I hope you’ll join me there one day.
I went to church today y’all
First stop the family altar
Lit a candle and said some prayers
Spritzed my mom’s perfume
And got her all over me
Come along I invited them
All of my dead
Maybe you’ll learn something
Over the high bridge and up the hill
Bypassing the cathedral all together
Walking by the last church
I served and loved
The Hmong Farmer’s Market I helped start
Full of people wearing masks in the parking lot
While the church doors remain tightly closed
On a beautiful Sunday morning
Waving I walked on
A pit stop at a friend’s home
The priest now in my position
At that church
I greeted past colleagues
On a glowing computer screen
They invited me to preside
Politely I declined
There was a world outside waiting
That cannot fit inside
A building
Much less a 12” screen
Past gardens behind fences
In some of the wealthier neighborhoods
Big smiles at the site of me
In my hat with flowers
From my front yard
An offering
To the threshold I have always loved
Between our two cities
St Paul and Minneapolis
The Mississippi below
Skyscrapers and blue sky above
Reminders of the many lifetimes
Lived here
Painted signs on the Minneapolis side
Starting to emerge
Leading to my destination
Black Lives Matter
Women’s Rights are Human Rights
Love is Love
No Human is Illegal
Science is Real
One Day At A Time
You Are Enough
You Deserve Love
Take Good Care
Then just like that
Lilly white turned to
Black, Red, and Brown
Before I knew it
I was dancing with those living
Under the Hiawatha Bridge
To the blaring blues
Coming out a large speaker
Someone offered me
The most incredible
Twisted glazed donut
I waved to three men
Relaxing in the heat
As they followed my legs
All the way
Down that street
Smiling I smelled my mom again
Unlike the rest of my family
I never heard the N word
Come out of her mouth
She had grown up
In Arkansas
During the Civil Rights Movement
The Little Rock 9
And somewhere inside
Realized she was never
Better than “them”
And “they” were no threat to her
I wished those men
Could have seen her legs
Her gorgeous calves
She used
To wrestle men down
Maybe my legs were hers
Walking by today
A turn after miles of walking
My destination in site
Names all down the street
Leading up to the place
George Floyd
Was killed
A memorial set up
Not only for him
But the countless
Black lives
Who have been killed
And let me tell you
There is no place
I can remember
Especially in this pandemic
Where greater love
Has been felt
In a community
Surrounded
By people and notes and flowers
I set my offering of flowers
In front of his pictures
Then sat my aching bum on the ground
Setting my timer for
8 minutes 56 seconds
I breathed
A preacher’s voice in the background
Only silence
Inside my head
As well as sadness
In my heart
8 minutes 9
Is a long time
Getting up from the ground
Sound came rushing back
A group of women said
Hey sister, how ‘bout an elbow bump
A young girl asked if I had water
Unfortunately not
We got you
Come inside the church
The preachers exchanged hands
A slight man in a three-piece suit
Shared his passionate plea
Make America Great Again
America has always been great
I should know
I’ve fought in its wars
Then leading us in the Lord’s Prayer
Like no other prayer
Had ever been said before
Reminding us to get out there and
-vote-
Get out there and love each other
I know it can be hard he said
But you gotta do it
Amen Amen
Giving out masked hugs
I received my second of the day
Of the last several months
I didn’t want to leave
I was home in a stranger’s land
But I had walked myself there
Time to walk myself back
Quickly the signs faded
The smiling people too
Down on the Parkway
People were busy
Getting their Sunday leisure on
Cars and bikes flying by
I reached the southern threshold
Of the Twin Cities
The Ford Parkway Bridge
Memories of an embrace
Caught in my throat
Of a love recently gone
I headed home
Back in my dining room
Still smelling my mom
Sad but knowing more than ever
I went to church this morning y’all
And many times over
A reminder of the importance of pilgrimage
To walk out of our comfort zone
From time to time
Even in our own cities
God’s people are out there
Not on a screen or in a building
You don’t need much
You are enough
You are loved
You deserve love
God’s people are out there
They’ve got you
